Birthday Jubilation

We interrupt regularly scheduled bitchin’ and moaning to wish AL a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

She sent me this humorous cartoon a while back and included the note below:

“The person who sent this to me said his would be Turbo-Charged and have two drink holders. I suspect BL's will have to be the same, plus a Blue Oval* mounted on the frame. I'll have mine customized to hold a wine bottle and a cork screw. On second thought....I'll just go with screw-cap bottles, probably won't have the strength to pull out a cork.  Won't need a cupholder....I'll take a long straw. “

My friends are nothing if not innovative. We may be aged, but we have our priorities straight!

Wouldn’t a jaunty sunbrella to keep the noggin cool be a nice addition!

Have a great day my friend, enjoy the wing ding.

ps. Elvis is still dead, and tomorrow is Beauregard’s birthday!

*{ BL & AL, M’Lord and Lady from the kingdom of Ford, wear the blue sigil proudly}

The Decay of the Boomers

If you're a Boomer many of your conversations with like-aged friends goes something like this:

You [Hey Bubba! How are the goats?]

Bubba [Oh the goats are good, but Doc gave me a new Rx, makes me pee all the time.]

You [I'm on that stuff too, just drink more fluids]

Bubba [Yep, guess I ought to... Reckon I'd get all dry and crispy like that pasture otherwise. Gave that hill over 'thar a stern look and it burst into flames!]

You [Well... y'all be careful.]

We of a certain age are starting to decay. Do you know anybody taking no meds at all, with all their internal organs and joints intact? I thought not, so if you're old enough to be receiving the 11 pounds of literature shipped monthly by AARP, you can join one of our Clubs!

The newest member of the Hi!BP Club is Jpo, who comes to us late in the game. Grj and Mbz, President & VP, have been on BP meds for ages. BP is SO last decade. Ao and Jg Co-Chair the Whoa-C! Club with style and humor. Gk heads up "The-Good-Lord-Gave-Me-Two-Means-One-Is-Disposable" branch of the Removal & Replacement Committee. Tz founded the "We <3 Statins" division of the Elevated-LDL Party.

I shan't go on and on.

And just think what we could do with the combined total for all our respective dental work...

What's a decrepit old geezer to do but hobble on over to the blender, squeeze a few limes, pull out the Sauza reposado and mix up a batch of Margs. The roar of the old Waring doesn't bother us much nowadays. Guess getting deaf as a stump ain't so awful after all. Salud!

UNCLE

 

We are declaring surrender, crying uncle.

Do you hear us Al Gore? U.N.C.L.E. We believe you! We are living your nightmare come true. Only thing left to do is fill the little blue kiddie pool with ice cubes and make like clams on the half shell. Heat temp records are being smashed willy-nilly. It hasn't rained since 1973. Our pond is a mud puddle. The birds sit around in the shade panting. The Duke won't go outside to pee until his bladder is ready to burst. The very worse part of all this purgatorial torture, it doesn't cool off at night. Yesterday evening I opened the door to step outside and admire the waxing crescent that mortals call the moon, only to be met with a crematorial blast of 92 degree air... at 11pm!

Texans are tough. REAL tough. We spring from our soggy, crumpled sheets in the pre-dawn atomic glow, gulp down a cup of coffee with two ice cubes, pop the straw cowboy hat upon the noggin and get on with the chores. We suck it up. There is no whining, unlike our East Coast friends who get all verklempt and woozy when the mercury rises into the 90's. "Oh my goodness, we are so hot. Look! Perspiration!? Alert the media. We may PERISH!

WaaWaaWaa. What a bunch of whining titty babies. Here behind the Pine Curtain it's been over 100 degrees every day for weeks and weeks. We suck it up and carry on. But better you should get your arse back in the shade by 10am, or you risk that pounding headache that comes up with the sun. Food loses all appeal. Nothing looks good except cold fruit. The only tolerable protein is a half-frozen hard-boiled egg.

Remember that poor Rocker Emm BZ who melted down to goo like the wicked witch of the west?   Well, I scraped the colorful slime into a mason jar for future use as an emergency fuel source for Beauregard.  We surrender.

Another one bites the dust.

 

World mourns loss of legendary rocker Emm BeeZee, frontman for acid band The Emm BrigetZ Group, whose recent masterwork, “Atomic Pits” charted at number one upon release.

Troubled performer was found melted in a colorful pile of goo at her remote hideaway. Band mates Reek Slobber, Horror Abattoir and Pit Viper were unavailable for comment.

Album Cover

“… a six inch valley through the middle of my skull…”

 

Ridiculous.

You said it Bruce.

Marvin Gaye, April 2, 1939 – April 1, 1984

 

Why must the most brilliant die so young. We’re been playing around with Spotify, testing it’s mettle. It can be stumped, so it’s “spotty” but still pretty neat.

It does have boat-loads of Marvin Gaye, the man responsible for "What's Going On", arguably the greatest Soul album ever recorded.  A later, and much less known album contains my favorite bit of Marvin.

From the " I Want You" album.

ENJOY!

Amy, R.I.P. finally…

 

God, what a waste.